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I'm afraid that my blog isn't too segmented. Which means, too general for specific people to follow.
But then I realised, I write for my own happiness. Just to express what's on my head. I don't care what people may think (well I'm trying my best not to care). I even don't know why I'm writing this. In fact, I'm afraid of many of things, and I believe that's normal. Afraid of spiders, afraid of bloods, afraid of people ended up hating me, afraid of hurting people, afraid of disappointing someone, afraid of being stupid and lack of knowledge, and so much more. The truth is, I don't know those are fears or, insecurities. Having an image in social media isn't that easy, although I'm not that highlighted anymore there are still some rumors and gossips around. Still, some people mostly know me from social media or from what I do in life. It leads to a big decision each time I want to put something on my page. For me, entertaining people is as important as entertaining myself.
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At the time when you think everything is okay. The time when you think you got something to hold on, but the thing is... You finally realised that sometimes life is just a game, which 80% of the time you think of it much more seriously than the rest human beings"When you finished your master degree, you should find a job there. Maybe after, I will move there as well" - Dad. Imagine a life far from where I was born is kind of hard. You see, at the time I moved here for the double degree program, I never thought about anything like this. What's on my mind was probably how to survive, how to live, how to socialize, how to make friends and more importantly, how to finish my degree without doing any stupid things.
And then after I know how to survive, after I made some friends, after I knew how to socialized and finally had the results of my grades, which I passed (yeay!), I have to plan another things. Maybe this is what they called being an adult. Don't get it wrong but I do love Paris. So much. Like so much. But, I think it's more like years for study not to... Finally make a living and move here. There are so many things I will missed, in life, ordinary Indonesian life, like I used to live for years... But then, plans are plans. No matter how much we get ready for it, still, plans. A future thing we won't know the truth yet. And it will, probably, change. I don't know. Even I'm good with tarot cards I can't predict my own life. We'll see 😇 |
